I have stretch marks on my shoulders, belly(yes the same marks that ladies usually get post childbirth), and numerous other places of my body. Darkened skin tone at creases. I still have my saddlebags(the disproportionate fat on either sides of my outer thigh-3rd slide).
When it comes to stretchmarks there is no escaping them. I read it on a post of an influencer "I am a tigress who has these stripes(stretchmarks)." Stretchmarks represent how my amazing body went through different stages of growing another human inside me or bearing the torture when I ate mindlessly. It represents how my body is now healing after my own war. I am a tigress and I am proud of my battle stripe. To be made conscious of stretchmarks is like devaluing your victory of childbirth or weightloss. Go wear those tanktops and show your stripes off.
Although when it comes to the disproportionate fats, the stares at my saddlebags usually made me wear longer blouses so I could hide them. It has always been looked at like a "defect". I had a primary school kid point at them and say,"my friends and I are wondering what were those beside your hips. Did you place something huge in your pockets that caused the bulge".
I've walked past numerous people who would look back after passing by me just to get second look at my "side bulges". I had actually genetically inherited this phenotype from my grandmother and I downright disliked them no matter what. As I grew bigger putting on more and more weight my shape went from pear to these saddlebag which has the most stubborn fat.
But it did not stop me from wearing clothes that would show these off as you can already see in the picture above. This "flaunting" kind of backfired and just made my esteem drift away. My idea of body positivity was to flaunt these "flaws" to make others perceive it as normal. Did it help me positively you may ask and the answer is NO. It made me very conscious of the saddlebags because it had been stared at consistently. Then I started wearing clothes that would hide these, never wearing a blouse without sleeve as well because I became conscious of my arms. I chose to wear baggy t shirt to hide my fat. As time passed I got hold of clothes that started suiting my body type. Cute dresses worked better on me and I started dressing up differently. Everyone loves compliments and those little words just boosted my morale everyday!
Basically what my point is being big is NOT a problem socially. Yes, there are health implications of being over and underweight but I wont talk about that. Being a big girl or the biggest girl in your class/family/community is NOT an issue but how you carry yourself matters. The type of clothes you choose to wear matters. A person with big belly fat shouldn't wear body-fitting blouse. It just does not suit. It makes others stare and it brings our esteem down. Same went for me. Jeans with crop top was a big NO!! NO!! because it would make me look downright hideous with my buldging saddlebags and big upper body.
"If you want to wear such clothes you need to lose weight". A straightforward message from my partner who never had any issues with me being big. Yes, flaunt your body because you have a beautiful body. Although you have to flaunt it wisely! Choose the right types of clothes that "sits" well on your body. We big girls got to work extra hard while choosing what we wear and how we carry ourselves. Just like makeups are used to hide blemishes of our face, we need right type of clothes to hide the blemishes of our body. "Look good to feel good"- when you choose the right type of clothes for your body type you give yourself the chance to build that self confidence. One of the worst type of feeling is when you walk down a street and your thighs are rubbing- we are done with those!!
Let's choose to carry ourselves with grace and beauty. You can walk in public with comfort and feel powerful. It's okay to hide those big arms or love handles but while hidden, work on them and make them disappear and then flaunt your body however you want to. Body positivity does not mean that you show off your love handles and then go back home depressed! It means self love, knowing you are beautiful despite having them and always working on them.
Girls, all I gotta say is i am a living proof of you don't need to go to gym to lose weight. All you need is good nutrition, calorie deficit, carbohydrate intake control- I'll write more on it in my next blog. As for now, choose your clothes wisely!
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