I honestly dont even remember a single day I might have spent not doing something studying related since I entered medical school. I am a hardworking student actually. Things dont come to me naturally and I have to work my butt off to remember things. Active recall, flashcards, rewriting, watching videos, quizzes everything that's basically I am suppose to do.
I want to be a doctor so bad but this journey punches me down somedays. Feeling stupid because of a bad grade. When deep down I know it doesnt define me as a student but let's get real grades gets me closer to my goal. The news is that this journey ain't getting any easier anytime soon. More exams, more studying more grades are on my way in next years when I take my journey through step exams.
But every cell in my body doubts my ability and I feel like crap. Like getting punched in my gut after working hard for weeks if I cannot get a good grade in here how am I suppose to do on steps. I guess I just have to keep breathing, keep going.
I really hope it's just a bad day and not a bad life. If anyone reads this. I hope you feel better soon.
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