Never ending days where I feel nothing but tiredness

 After a long night of sleep I wake up into a new day. Thanking God that I got another new day, having ability to breath, see, intact senses, not in pain, having my basic needs in place. My usual reflex is to pick my phone and go through it. Lying there in bed for some reason I feel heavy. 

The thought of going through the day runs in my mind. Assignment then sit in lecture then cook and eat then continue lecture. Then its evening again. Day after day moving on but somehow feeling stegnant. I know it's not a physical strenuous work but it is mentally tiring. The brain is the mastermind of everything we do, feel, think and decide. Every action, every reflex is controlled by our nervous system that starts in our brain. What happens when the brain itself is tired. 

Being a medical student in past would have been harder surely where students had to be in clinic and be in lectures but somehow the variability of the day would have made time fly by along with friends. Having good day or bad day at work but somehow the feeling of accomplishment is there at the end of the day. Right now its merely sitting in 4 walled room thinking of ways to make it through every day. Then through the night then again another day. 

No, I am not free and no I am not chilling at home. This is mentally exhausting. Medical school has been an endless journey through which years have passed and new years have come through. Although this final year seems somewhat strange. Like writing the last paper in a lengthy finals where your brain is sore and your thinking capacity is at a brim yet you're pushing to finish the exam. I am at that last paper and it will take a good push everyday to keep me going. 

As my professor says, "you cannot say you're tired because everyone IS tired. Nobody really cares that you're exhausted because they are too".But I just want to put a note to myself that I care that I am tired. I care that i am exhausted and i acknowledge the fact that I am willing to keep moving forward. 

Just as when i got into fitness and while following my workout routine i fell off my track at astounding speed. But I got back on and that is the whole point. Being able to keep doing something even if you're falling off. Getting back on because this time you're not starting from zero, you're just continuing where you left of. Falling off the track of my journey doesnt mean I dont love what i do. It just means that I am a human and so are you. Just as that last page of exam sheets I am also on that last sheet and I know I can write it because guess what doing the exam and completing it is a million times more worth than leaving it blank because that's when I'll do justice to all these years of preparation.