Friday, March 18, 2022

A Little Pinch of Faith

Probably not everyday in life but every now and then we are in the realm of life changing chapters of our own stories. Making decisions, getting things done and making sure to not leave any stone unturned as we hope for the best outcome of what we are expecting. I found myself in this exact position a week back and man was it gut wrenchingly stressful. Every single second my mind would wander away thinking about it and it left me unable to focus on my studying for my exam (thats in 3 months by the way). 

I realize how our minds are definitely strong just as we are but it also is quite fragile. It is so easy to let ourselves float away with anxiety and frustration when there is something really big going on in our lives. We can seek comfort in our partners but when you're by yourself it can be hard. Even with partners we can't always rely on them to make us feel better. These little battles in our minds would appear minute in someone else's view but it still does steal our peace despite being "not a big deal". 

While I fought my own anxiety, I had let myself lose focus on my other work. I started eating junk food and felt like crying sometimes because it seemed so overwhelming to me. This is when I know I need help. Not from somebody else but from myself. It comes from within because guess what no matter how much we would like someone else to fight our battles that someone else is busy with their own business. Everyone has something to figure out and I am here to help myself grow mentally, physically, spiritually. 

To be honest, listening to sermons is my go to rescue everytime I am overwhelmed, reading my holy book and just being refocused on who actually is the controller of every trivial and gigantic detail of our lives. No matter how much facts I look at, at the end of the day what brings me peace is knowing and having faith that things will work out. 

Yes, in that moment I don't even see any change but isn't that the real test of my faith. The prayers and scriptures that I say and read it all would be of no use if in the time of real test I don't have faith. 

This faith is like a calm in the midst of tornado. The contentment of knowing and acknowledging that even if I don't know the outcome that does not mean things aren't changing. This is the magic about having faith. It isn't something that is automatically instilled in me. It is something I build and I work on everyday. Mind you, the first 2 days I had anxiety attack and bouts of crying because I couldn't be any more patient. Then day 3 came when I seeked help to strength my faith. 

While sitting on my couch that same afternoon I was studying for my test. Then a little fruit of thought came in my mind. It was like I was speaking to myself and told myself that I am going to be faithful and I will be patient while this storm passes. In that very moment I got a phone call and was told that what I had been waiting for and somewhere expected it not to be "approved" for months was completed and approved in just 3 days.  

This is the power of faith.  

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